My sleep was still uncomfortable and erratic, that never changed. The next 6 years were spent learning and growing in ways I never expected. I believed the distance and experience would have a 'cleansing' effect on me. Even though I weighed in under 100 pounds, I still had a 'just watch me' attitude. I took control of my life and enlisted in the Army. I share this not to heighten the intensity of my situation, rather to admit that having a gun in my hand to confront my father provided the courage I needed. Louis Missouri and never ever looked back. After tossing the gun away, I drove non-stop from Albany, New York to St. With gun in hand I told him this was all over. He came home that day and entered our apartment. My father had a 45-caliber handgun he left behind in our apartment. I needed to be face-to- face with him, look him in the eyes. I decided that running away in panic and leaving a note was not how I wanted it to end. I placed my belongings in my car, left the car engine running, and waited anxiously for his troubling return. That day and that moment is frozen in my memory it will never thaw. Armed with a newfound confidence and certitude, I took charge of my life. I stood up and confronted my father, breaking the cycle. One day, I followed my gut and decided I had had enough. It was unending and relentless, and he blocked my path like an eclipse blotting out my future and the many hopes I had held so close. I abandoned the glory of becoming a lawyer and attending University of New York. My journey veered left and right like most journeys do. These teachings paid off, as they say, the rest is history. Ruth was taught to strive for excellence in her life, in her studies and to be an independent thinker. I was especially drawn to her unique relationship with her mother, Celia. She was outspoken, intelligent, and challenged traditional assumptions of a 'woman’s place.' She redefined equal rights for women. She was on a journey that had posted signs like, 'We don't hire women.' Her older sister died while she was a baby and her mother died of cancer before she graduated High School. Judge Ginsburg didn’t have an easy journey she was on a journey of one. While she wasn’t the first female on the Supreme Court, her undying commitment to transform the legal status of women in America got my attention. In 1993, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was appointed Supreme Court Justice. Although my journey to becoming a lawyer veered off course, deep in my heart I still have a passion to the protect the innocent and pursue the truth. After my parents divorced, I planned to study International Business at the University of New York followed by Law School. As a young woman I always wanted to be a Lawyer, I wanted to defend the defenseless and defend what I saw as justice. Sometimes the impact of one person can give the strength of thousands. Through it all my Mother showed me what 'unconditional love' looked and felt like. Over time I began to understand the complexity of my Mother’s life, her hopes, dreams, and fears. Her actions of love in my case spoke much louder than words. My brother and I often blame her German heritage for being tight lipped. As a child she didn’t shower me with 'I Love You' out loud but I knew every day how much she loved me. She has the kindest heart, many of her friends call her St. But don’t feel sorry for us, my mom is a “scrapper” and refused to let me fail or herself fail. My Mother hadn’t been aware of my abuse, thinking back, she was a victim as much as I was. I can’t say enough kind words about the influence of my Mother, Joyce. I choose a life of love, kindness and lots of laughter. I could look back in anger and frustration or to look forward with hope and love. I learned that I had a personal choice to make. It took many years to cultivate the courage and confidence to trust myself and make my life my own. As a young girl, living and negotiating with that secret fueled my independence, grit, and desire to take charge of my life. A secret of a home that was void of trust and security. Beneath the façade of happiness and everyday routine hid a dark secret that I still carry with me today.
From the outside looking in, it appeared that I had everything, the All-American girl. Growing up I was a pom-pom girl, in drama club, a member of the student council.
Louis is a town built on down-to-earth Midwest sensibilities. Louis Missouri the place I ended up calling home. Being on the move made me hope that my next stop would be a place called home. By age 10, I had resided in 9 different locations in 3 different states.
#Calibre systems dell perot systems series
I can see that it has been one constant journey, with a series of curious excursions.
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